Softly Intensed to be Broken

Why it is falling so deep. I have never imagined that it would be so far...
Why this is so sad. I have never been so sad like this since my mom past away.
Even the last one before I just swifted easily in healing.
Until now I don't know how to escape from the feeling.
I always ...always remember, when in memories keep telling me what precious is.
I have ruined it. I know. I have tried many times before to embrace ... but it turn out failed.
I am wondering if it goes back I can make it different way to gather in harmony.
I am wondering if I were the one to be embraced by. I can not do by my own hand now, I'll be just waiting...waiting...waiting..waiting...waiting...until I KILL MY SELF.